11 Tips Towards Obtaining and Maintaining Personal Happiness and Satisfaction In Your Life

11 Tips...

1. "Be true to YOUrself." If you don't know yourself yet, find out more about who you are and what makes you tick. Spend time alone. Do and try a number of things. Read, write, sew, paint, meditate, sing, dance, play cards, garden, cook, bake, walk in the rain, go-karting, horse riding,  sky diving, hiking, collect stamps, coins, go bird watching, train watching, learn to fly, do some physical exercise, play team sports and solo sports. Anything. Make the time to spend time with people whose company you enjoy. When you are alone, reflect on how you felt during those times. When did you feel great, what were you doing? When did you feel sad or uncomfortable and so on. Work out how you can emulate those feelings in your everyday life. Strive to feel those "feel good vibes" and do it by remembering and creating moments during work and while on leisure time through lifestyle choices that help you to evoke those feelings. It may not come to you immediately, but if you let go and explore things that you do like and push out of your comfort zone from time to time, you may find brand new opportunities opening up that you would never have dared to dream about! Just let go.
2. Do what you love. 
3. Follow your dreams. Decide that you will achieve one or all of them and commit to it. Don't ever believe that it cannot be done, no matter what other's say. Find out what it will take to excel at your chosen goal. Will you need to study or do hands on training? Will both be necessary, or will you just need to find some tranquillity somewhere you'll be able to think and hatch your plans? One you decide what it is you'll need to do,  go for it. 
4. Set your boundaries in life (personally, and also decide what you will or won't put up with from others.) Stick to them.
5. Define what success means to you. Be happy with what YOU think success is. Work out how to get "there" and congratulate yourself each time you reach a new goal along the way. Don't forget to enjoy the ride along the way.
6. Ignore the sheep, the bullies, naysayers and toxic types. Forget about what others think. Think for yourself! Listen to the voice inside. Life is way too important to have regrets. Why not try something new and see if it works? If it doesn't, so be it. There is always an alternative way or a new idea...
7. Laugh about it. My mother always used to say in her West Indian accent, "If you don't laugh, you cry." Basically, I'd understood it to mean that life and people can be "pants" sometimes. If you don't laugh about those rotten experiences, you'll be crying instead, possibly quite a lot. Look at the situation and realise that no matter what, you'll have to move on eventually. Just laugh and let it go. Laughter can heal a broken spirit. I've never forgotten the way she said it. Always in a sombre tone, then she'd put a song she loved on the record player or radio and dance and laugh! I'd think she was off her rocker!! After my fair share of not very nice experiences, I now get what she had tried to convey. I now put on a record or song I love and dance my blues away, laughing and smiling, remembering all that is good about life. Try it. It works.
8. Cry about it. If you feel as though you messed up in some way on your journey and you feel bad, don't hold it in. Have some alone time. Let it out. I write and sing about my pain (As an indie musician and label owner, I'm blessed that I can do this. I engineered my life that way!) Find a healthy outlet in your life where you can get things out of your system. Give yourself a realistic time to wallow in the misery, then evaluate, be realistic, decide what you've learnt and where you'll go from this point onwards. Then move on. Don't live in the past with regrets of what might have been. It has either passed or didn't happen, whichever way you look at it, it is nothing but a memory. It isn't even real any longer, maybe it never was. Let it go. You have the power to create and make happy memories or dreams for your future starting from now! 
9. Don't change your character and treat people unkindly in order to "fit in" with those who chose not to respect others. Ask yourself honestly if you could live with yourself if you acted a certain way. Don't think that means you should be a pushover either. You can be firm and tough in life AND you can still be polite. It is nice to be important but more important to be nice. If you are a lady or a gent hopefully you'll see where I am coming from. Don't despair. There are wonderfully nice, accomplished people out there in the big world.
10. Respect your body and what you put in it. It is a mind, body and soul thing. Eating the "right" foods or doing the "right" things is no good if you have constant negative attitude towards yourself and others. Toxicity is something you need to shift from within and without. Good nourishment, a positive mentality, a healthy spirit, effective exercise are parts of the whole that all need to be maintained.  If you find yourself constantly criticising others, that means something is unbalanced.                                                                          Which leads me to one of the most important things to do:
11. Love YOUrself. None of us have the time to endure horrid egos. Don't put up with bad attitudes from others. Don't be all into yourself either. Let's be real. Sometimes we attract in others what we have in ourselves. You may wonder why this person in your life is acting a certain unappealing way. Provided this person hasn't done something absolutely unforgiveable to you, when you start to see their "yuk traits" try to see the good in them. I'm serious. Focus on the good things that they do or their good points. If it is consistent and you still don't like a trait of another person, look deeply inside. This is what I mean by being real. Ask yourself honestly, is that ugly trait a reflection of your real character? If yes, change it. If no, repel that "energy" from your life. Say goodbye. You don't need it. "Toodle pip". Ciao. And all of that. "Shut that door" as Larry Grayson said!

If working on self love, when you are rebuilding or just boosting your self esteem, remember that confidence is NOT the same as arrogance. Find the balance. Be your own best friend but don't be a brat about it. You have to live with the meat suit you came in for your whole life so if you don't already, learn to love and respect yourself first. Then, when you love yourself, I mean TRULY do love and respect yourself, giving and receiving love will be even more special. Give yourself some credit. YOU are wonderful! 

Just to affirm this fact on a regular basis. Treat yourself to something wonderful and make yourself feel great (it doesn't have to cost anything, be creative) every day, week or every month, whatever works for you. "Cut yourself some slack" as they say. Don't beat yourself up. You deserve good. YOU are here NOW. You have been blessed with a lifetime. Make the most of it. Don't waste a second.

Thanks for reading.

All love

Danelle x

Singer, Composer & Guitarist Danelle Harvey ~ @DanelleHarvey